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Thursday, April 26th 2012

9:28 AM (22 days, 7h, 2min ago)

Hello All

I have been MIA. Life is taking me by the neck. Also, my free time is on Second Life. The frustrating part about SL... I have been fighting with it, the viewers are giving me trouble and I now think it is an SL problem. Anyway.... I thought I would write a blog while I wait for a viewer to download. My life in second life is what has been keeping me sane. Sorry about going MIA on bravenet. 

In this video I am the blonde in the middle with a drink in my hand. You will see around 0:55 --1:00 or so. The avatars and graphics are so real it's cool.


This is a Beach Party my boss at the club designed. He built the area of the party and we all worked it and it was really fun. Within the SL world at the Rez Nightclub I am a + dancer which means I hire and train the dancers and help my boss with the procedures and how the club runs and the rules for all the dancers and bartenders. It is pure fun for me and a good escape. Enjoy!
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Wednesday, March 14th 2012

9:49 AM (65 days, 6h, 40min ago)

Coping and Rest

Last week on Monday afternoon hubby and his sister and mother went to the hospital to turn off Kens ventilator and pacemaker. He could just not go on like that any longer. They could no longer give him dialysis  and it was a matter of time before he would pass on his own anyway in sheer discomfort. So on Monday they turned everything off and thought he would pass in 30 minutes or an hour. Well, because of the morphine drip to make him comfortable he took 18 hours to pass away on his own. He breathed slowly for a long time on his own. Hubby and his sister laid down on the linoleum floor with pillows and slept overnight waiting. Very uncomfortable for them. They sat by his side at the bed waiting and Ken finally passed away while my mother in law was taking a nap. SO the went to her and gently told her that they thought he was gone.

The funeral arrangements were Friday. We left the house at 8:30am to go to the church for the visitation and service. Then we went to lunch at a nice restaurant, then went to the chapel here at the cemetery for the veterans flag folding and presenting. In the Large bay window behind the folding ceremony there was a family of 7 deer that passed by slowly. The last Buck stood there waiting until the music was finished to continue on. We took that as a good sign since there were 7 of us close family sitting there. Then cookies and coffee at Falicia's house then dinner out then home. 13 hours long.

Ken is in a better place now and not in a bed hooked up to everything and stuck inside his head.

Now we can relax and get on with other things that need sorted out.

I am sleepy.
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Thursday, March 1st 2012

6:19 PM (77 days, 21h, 10min ago)

Prearrangements this week

Last week we got the phone call. The doctors say that Ken will not be getting better. The ventilator is keeping him alive. They took him off of it and he lasted 20 minutes. They then put him right back on. One blood infection after another, antibiotics all the time. The man is skin and bone. He can fight no longer. He is lingering at best.

This past week, Jackie flew back in from Hawaii when we got the call and she was on the plane inside of 24 hours. This week has been day after day of going to see a pastor and going to a funeral home and visiting Ken, making plans for the "end." Also I am putting together pictures from the beginning until now for Falicia to give to the lawyer. It is no longer a case of what can they do for him.... it is now a case of what can they do for her. Over 5 million in medical tallied up from the past 10 months. 

What can we do for her. 

When will we all get together and go there for turning it off?

This a true nightmare. I have been MIA from this blog and I am sorry. I have been spending free time on Second Life. I want to thank all who read this for being there for me. I need my friends more than ever RIGHT NOW.

love and kisses

Amanda
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Monday, January 30th 2012

8:49 AM (109 days, 6h, 41min ago)

an update after so long

My FIL ken is not getting better 8 months after the partial liver transplant from my husband. The doctors said last week that he will not be getting better. He has another infection and fever. He is still in this bad state of awful limbo. Still hooked up to a feeding tube and now back on the ventilator again. I know Bradley has to be hurting inside after risking his life to save his dad. I can only image the upset. If Ken is bedridden and like this forever more, we have to abide by his wishes and make the ultimate decision to let him go. I think this is one of the reasons I started Second Life. To have something else that is more fun to concentrate on. Now that I have made a place for myself there, I have made many new friends who are really good people. I see them as avatars but when we talk on skype you see the real person.... it's truly amazing what you can do with the internet. If I did n't have the internet I would be a real mess right now with no friends close by to talk to. I mean really. 

Well today, I am going to the dentist for routine cleaning. I still have mental images of when the assistant passed out on me. I posted that story in the previous post. It actually happened a year or 2 ago, but I still have bad images about it. So I have to be brave and go in and have them poked and cleaned.  Wish me luck. 

As for Second LIfe.... I am now a Rez Girl+ which means I hire and train new rez girls. This in genreal is going very well. Soon we will have a nice big group of well trained GOOD Rez Girls. Phil the owner calls them Amanda's Rez Girl Army. LOL. He is really GREAT. Yesterday in fun he called me The Lone Ranger. Anyway... things there are going well and it gives me other things to concentrate on.

Bradley thinks I am on there too much but I say I am not. If it is making  me happy.... let me alone and let me be. He should be happy for me. He is almost never around anyway. So oh well. Is he jealous that I am happier now? I don't get it.



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Wednesday, January 4th 2012

6:47 AM (135 days, 8h, 42min ago)

back from Ohare

Got Bradley to O'hare and we got home home fine. We got home by 6am. Now Rhiannon is off to Band practice and I am off to work. This morning has been very unfun but has been safe so what more can I ask for right?

Bradleys Idea of fun is to go the Mathematicians Convention in Boston... I would rather go to the dentist and have the assistant pass out on me again while cleaning my teeth.

Remember that true story??? 

Thursday, September 25th 2008

11:48 AM (1195 days, 20h, 6min ago)

My real life HORROR STORY


ok....here goes. Yesterday in the midst of my very busy day before work even...I went to the dentist office to get my 3 month cleaning. The assistant Regina was cleaning my teeth with vigor like she usually does. She is almost done with my mouth and without a word or hint or anything, right out of the blue quick as a flash......she passes out and falls on me. I am a pillow....I start to yell..."help!" no one hears me right off. SO I say it louder..."SOMEONE HELP!!!!!" and I jerked a little because her face is on my cheek and she is making small sounds like she is having a seizure. Then flings herself backward still totally out and lands real heavy on the floor behind me. At that point a lady rushes in and looks at me and I point to the floor and say "she passed out. She was cleaning my teeth and she passed out."

HOLY FUCK I Was shaking. They called the paramedics and she was still not very responsive but seemed alive and moving. OMG this happens in the movies....but the way my week has been going it HAD to happen to me. Anyway she hit her head on the way down and nicked my neck in 2 places with the scraper pick too. I didn't know I was bleeding a little. OMG I still shudder at the thought of this. I hope she is ok. The office lady said the paramedics said her symptoms pointed to a seizure and that is what I told them too so now she is being checked on why she would have a seizure in the middle of work???? yeah. Our dentist knows hubby from high school and she is so nice. She finished my mouth and they canceled the rest of the day and she gave me a HUGE box of 86 crest white strips like the ones you can get at Sams or something. I said to her "this is really expensive and she said I KNOW JUST TAKE IT ITS FOR YOU."

I can laugh a little about it now but that was really incredibly freaky and I wonder if she is ok? She so nice and soft spoken. So yeah thats my true dentist visit story.

AMANDA
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Tuesday, January 3rd 2012

9:38 AM (136 days, 5h, 51min ago)

Back to your regularly scheduled shit

Well, the holiday break was nice. 2 weeks of staying up late and sleeping in. 2 weeks of putsing around and living on Second Life. I am sure Rez is sick of me. I have made some great friends there and it is relaxing to me to escape the bullshit going on in my real life. So having a place to escape to every day for a couple hours is real nice. But now I have to get up early real early again and take care of stuff and go to work as well. 

The past 2 weeks has been on and off sick. Hubby has been very ill and now I am getting ill for the second time thanks to him. So off I go to work everyday and do stuff here at the same time while feeling like shit. This is my life. I am just glad I have Second Life as well so I can be something else for a bit. 
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Monday, December 19th 2011

9:37 AM (151 days, 5h, 52min ago)

We are home.

On the drive down to Taylorsville KY we had to go around the  City of Chicago and into Indiana. I woke up at 3am to a RAGING MUTHA FUCKIN MIGRAINE, and was vomiting until about 6am. The ice on my head wasn't working either. Also we got and inch and a half of snow over night that I was NOT expecting. The roads were not plowed and very slick. 

OH HELLA NO, after all this planning and doing and setting everything up and packing and getting the cats ready and getting the gifts ready...... I needed to cancel our trip because I was so sick. ????  I did not cancel, being the McAllister that I am... I got out of bed and got dressed and made some good strong english tea and took some pamprin. We got in that car anyway. Thats how I roll.

My tummy was off but the pain in my head had subsided a bit and off we went and by the time we got there 8-9 hours later I was ok enough to eat some of the awesome food. Ok so the trip is SUPPOSED to take 6 1/2 hours MAYBE 7. When we left the house the roads were slick and almost did a whole doughnut at the light down the road. Once we were on the main roads it was a bit better but not yet plowed so we had to keep our distance from others. By the time we were on the highway SOME plowing was in process and the salt trucks were out in force. This was 6:30am quater to 7. If it weren't for me being so sick and Bradley getting in the shower while I sorted myself out we would have been on the road at 4am maybe 5am.

I think it was closer to 6:30 am because it was a bit dark still anyway, as we were on the highways... assholes were in the ditch and passing us at breakneck speed for the conditions. Chicago drivers NEVER learn. They are assholes. We saw no less than 3 or 5 major front end munch ups and many cars off the road entirely. The snow followed us through Illinois into Indiana. Much ups there too. Pictures drawn on the roads with nice skids everywhere. As we headed south on 65 we made up some time and went straight through Indianapolis..... After we had to take a detour route from a major accident, that set us back another half hour maybe more. On the stretch from Indy through Louisville there was a semi truck off the road and flipped over luckily that back up was on the other side didn't effect us. At the border on the bridge the exit we needed was closed! Ok I was swearing at that point. We got on 71 and went too far to get gas then turned around and got back onto the highway towards Lexington therefor bypassing the closed onramp to that. At this point we are 40 minutes from Taylorsville. It is 2:30 pm maybe 3pm. Holy crap we are SO late!!! everyone has been there since noon. So we pull up with help from my navigator which helped us several times on the trip..... we have just enough time to play the dirty santa game and eat. My cousin Angela and I stole a wonderful fuzzy blanket gift from each other a couple times HAHA... but I let her keep it the last time I was feeling to ill to get too  crazy and fun..... So we had maybe 2 hours there... and went to Aunt Shirleys.  

Wonderful visit there for the night.. I worked on my sister in laws gift and we had a great visit and went to bed. 

Ok so the drive home is another story entirely...... We are driving back north and someone in front of us turns a young deer or fawn into an angel and the poor thing is smeared by them and them part of it hit our car just under by the bumper. We are ok and the car is fine but the deer is NO MORE. I saw it standing in front of them for quick split second and its gone and as soon as I saw it I yelled to Bradley to slow down! Because I saw what was happening right before it actually happened. (we had angels then too) At this point I want to thank Lady Wolven Mists for sending some angels. They really helped us and I am glad I asked you all for them because we really needed them. Also, Shawno gets thanks for his good thoughts too. Also anyone else who was thinking of me and us!!! I know you are out there and busy with the holiday season and your doings.... BUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for helping to keep us safe!!!

Back to the story...  We did another favor for a friend of ours.... yes that friend down south I have spoken of her before. SInce we were in the area and driving north we went and picked up a bunch of her things and drove it all to her in Charleston IL. WE had no idea how to get to her place or her address. SHe sends her daughter out with her phone that she is communicating with us on while we are navigating to her place with no idea of her address yet. So Morgan the one who stayed with us last summer is out with her friends with Kates phone. SO we ask her what her address is... this child who is 13 does not know her own fucking address. SO we told her to GO HOME. CAlled her back and she got the address from someone else and I put it into my navigator and we got there about 5pm. Our car is stuffed and Rhiannon barely has anywhere to sit back there in the back seat for like 2 hours. This ungrateful friend of ours barely thanks us and we are off to head north towards Champaign IL. (we are not doing her anymore favors ever)

We head into CHampaign and meet up with a dear friend of ours who practically family B.A. and we eat at Tang Dynasty for dinner. It was the best Chinese I have had in YEARS!!!! SO then around 8pm we are on the road home... no problems from there on out and we got home around 11:30 pm. The cats had been totally spoiled by my Angel nurse friend from the vet and we went to bed.

So to everyone who had us in there thoughts..... THANK YOU!!!!!! this trip almost didn't happen in so many ways the whole way there. The angels were much appreciated. 
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Friday, December 16th 2011

7:57 PM (153 days, 19h, 32min ago)

Reunion Eve

I have been getting things ready all day for us to leave in the weeeee hours of the pitch dark morning. Tomorrow we are driving down to Taylorsville KY for our yearly Christmas Reunion Family Gathering. Its pot luck and Santa visits too, i.e. one of my uncles dresses up and passes out the secret santa gifts to the kids from the drawing we had at thanksgiving.

7 hours each way. We are getting up at 5am and leaving as soon as possible. Hopefully we will get there by 12pm? or 12:30 hopefully. The feast starts at 1pm. So we should be in the nick of time. I have addresses put into my phone navigator so we don't get lost too. I mean I should not get lost but for some reason all of my adult life Taylorsville has always confused me in one way or another. I am excited about seeing  everyone. This year has been so hard and I imagine everyone will want to see Bradley and congratulate him on his good deed to his dad. 

Just getting there and seeing everyone will be so great. It's a quick visit but I feel like we have to go. We will be taking pictures of all the families so we can keep people straight and so Rhiannon can know who her family is. 2nd cousins and Great Aunts and Uncles the whole gang. SHe is one of the older 2nd cousins now, that 10-17 I think, the rest are below 5. We have a big family.

Anyway I will be back online Sunday evening. Have great weekend everyone and wish us safe and speedy travel. Angels on either side of our car will be greatly appreciated.
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Thursday, December 15th 2011

10:17 AM (155 days, 5h, 12min ago)

All night migraine

I had the holiday party with my job last night after work. Lots of food. All afternoon I had a headache coming on. The kids at work were wound up beyond belief (too many candy canes from their teachers) and their energy never calmed down. It was loud and rowdy and just plain miserable for my head. We then went to the holiday dinner and we got back just in time for Rhiannon to go to bed. I went to bed too. I woke up several times in the night from dreams and every time I got up my migraine was still there. I kept squashing the pillow on different sides of my head for the pressure relief. 

Luckily when I got up at 6am to get us ready to go.... the headache was finally fucking gone. Unbelievable. I remember laying down in bed first thing and it felt so good to lay down because every muscle in my body hurt like crazy and I didn't realize it until I crawled into bed. The bed felt like a cloud, a big king size comfy cloud.

Today I am much better. Now I have to get us ready for our trip down south to Taylorsville KY for the reunion on Saturday. We will be back late Sunday. 7 hour drive each way. Today I am taking it easy and doing a few things slowly before I go back to work.
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Friday, December 9th 2011

7:21 PM (160 days, 20h, 9min ago)

breathy jittery sigh

My mother in law called. Ken has an abscess on the back of his liver. They are doing tests. His heart rate has gone down, his oxygen has gone down. He is back on the ventilator and back in ICU. He aspirated into his lungs again as well. They have not fed him in 5-6 days. He ate yesterday but then aspirated.... 

Falicia is so upset right now. Bradley is going downtown with her tomorrow to see him and make sure the asshole doctors are doing their job. Ever since Bradley donated Ken part of his liver back in April, poor Ken has been on a roller coast ride of HELL. We are afraid now he might be dying. The doctors said a while back that if he goes back ont he vent he may never come off of it again. Well here he is back on it and back in ICU......

PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM AND US.

I am beside myself right now I can't function.

Pizza in the oven..... and jammies being worn....... MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS.
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